


When The Cat Met The Bat

by Frosty_thesnowman (orphan_account)



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Ocean's 8 (2018), Ocean's Eleven Trilogy (Movies)
Genre: Adoption, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Celebrity, Batfamily (DCU), Batfamily (DCU) Feels, Crimes & Criminals, Domestic Batfamily (DCU), F/F, F/M, Finding Your Roots (TV) mention, Fluff and Angst, Protective Batfamily (DCU)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-04-14
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:42:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23617693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Frosty_thesnowman
Summary: Helena Wayne was given up for adoption by Selina without Bruce’s knowledge. She was then adopted by Debbie Ocean and her wife Lou, going on to become a successful actress. Twenty-five years after being given up for adoption, Helena Ocean finds out who her biological parents really are.
Relationships: Lou Miller/Debbie Ocean, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Selina Kyle/Bruce Wayne
Comments: 6
Kudos: 23





	1. Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Cats *but were too afraid to ask

Helena’s parents didn’t have very large extended families. In their line of work, the age expectantly was somewhere in the low forties. As such, her parents’ friends had substituted for her aunts since she was a baby. 

There was Aunt Amita with her successful jewelry shop in Paris; Aunt Constance, full-time thief and part-time rapper; Aunt Nine Ball who ran a bar in NYC and conducted various hacking work on the side; Aunt Tammy with her shipping business (although she claimed her full time job as stay-at-home mom to her two kids, and Helena’s cousins, Derek and Keri); Aunt Rose with her fashion business; and then, finally, her Aunt Daphne who she was currently on the phone with, and had been for the past hour. 

“Please Helena? My agent arranged for me to go, but something came up.”

Helena hummed in sympathy but made no noise as to agree. Her lack of interest in no way derailed her Aunt Daphne.

Daphne switched tactics. “Fuck Helena, I can’t disappoint Henry Louis Gates Jr!” 

“Somehow I doubt you knew his name before this phone call,” accused Helena. For a second the only sound was her flipping another page in her magazine. Teen Vogue may be technically below her reading level, but their pro-communist articles amused her.

“Helena if you do it, I’ll get Debbie off your back,” she wheedled.

This made Helena finally pause. It was no secret amongst her aunts that she and her mother were fighting. After Helena had begun her acting career five years ago, her mother had become more and more insistent that Helena rejoin the family business. Her mom, Lou, had been semi-successful in her efforts to help Helena, but she hadn’t completely solved the problem yet.

Helena made her aunt sweat for a few more seconds before agreeing. “Alright I’ll do it,” she said finally.

“Yes! Thank god, I thought my agent might kill me.”

Helena snorted— like the famous actress and director Daphne Kluger had to answer to anybody. “You still have to survive my mother.”

“She’s manageable, Kayla meanwhile, is not,” she said with a sniff. “I’ll see you at Christmas Lena! Love you!”

“Love you Aunt Daph! Say hi to Aunt Rose for me!” 

Looked like Helena had a new project. Great.

•••••••

“Mr Gates is so happy to have you here Ms Ocean! As a reminder, once you finish in hair and makeup we’ll bring you out to the studio and we’ll film the bits we need in here,” explained Christine, the stage manager, “Tomorrow we’ll be filming in your house and neighborhood. Please provide Terry in editing with any pictures you’ve found. We’ll be filming in five.”

Christine seemed harried and not at all interested in any questions Helena may have, so Helena simply nodded. Christine gave a short nod in response and left. 

The dressing room wasn’t much of one, and she supposed it didn’t really need to be. This was no Game of Thrones production after all. The hair and makeup went quickly, and before she knew it, she was shaking Henry’s hand and the cameras were rolling.

“Today we have with us actress Helena Ocean of Game of Thrones and Marvel fame. It’s a pleasure to have you with us Ms Ocean,” Henry said with a smile.

“A pleasure to be here! I have to say, I’ve always been curious about my background.”

Henry nodded. “A hazard of being adopted, I’m sure. We’ve had our team look into the DNA you’ve provided us with, and we did some investigations of our own as well.”

“My mother told me that the adoption didn’t go through an orphanage, which probably only made your job more complicated!” Helena let out a light laugh.

“Yes, a bit, but this isn’t our first rodeo. Our team was able to find records of your biological parents. Or parent, actually. A Ms Selina Kyle is your biological mother.”

Helena felt the blood drain from her face. Her Aunt Selena was her real mother?

“Wow,” she finally said. “I had no idea. I mean, I’ve known her as my Aunt Selina all my life. This is… a lot.”

“We were unable to discover your father, as he was not listed on the birth certificate, but we were able to find some of your mother’s relatives,” continued Henry. “The Kyles are of Northern Irish Descent and are believe to have immigrated here in the late 1800s. Here you have a picture of your four times great grandfather…”

Helena let his voice wash over her; anything to keep her panic at bay. She was a professional actress and she refused to show any of her internal thoughts on her face. She nodded at the right times, and made some exclamations when needed, but for all intents and purposes, she was no longer involved. 

She knew that she was not the biological daughter of her parents— she didn’t look like either one of them—but the fact that her real mother had been there the entire time was mind blowing. Her aunt was her mother her aunt was her mother her aunt…

•••••••

The second the show cut, Helena called her mother. 

“Mom, it’s me.”

“Helena! Are you calling to join the heist we planned for this weekend?” Debbie’s voice was light, but there was a bite to it. Helena winced internally. Maybe she should have called Lou.

“No mom, I told you that I’m not doing heists anymore. Besides, I called because-“ 

Of course her mother didn’t let her finish. Manners had never run strongly in her family. “I thought you would have grown out of this phase by now. You know when I was your age-“

“You’d just been sent to prison for a failed art heist,” interrupted Helena. 

“Well when you put it like that it seems like a poor life decision,” her mother said dryly. 

Helena let herself relax a bit; if her mother was truly angry at her, she would not have let her get away with that comment.

“Look I’m calling because— well…did Aunt Daph tell you about the show she set me up with?”

“Something about family history I think? She told me more about her date night with Rose than whatever show it was.” Helena let herself laugh at that. If her mother was making jokes it meant she was in a good mood, and it was Helena’s intention to keep it that way.

“That sounds like her,” admitted Helena. “It was a family history show, and they were good. They told me about my mom. My real mom.”

The silence on the other end of the phone made her twitch. She could just picture the anger on her mother’s face. Fuck she should have done this in person. Or with her mom. Lou was always so much better about this.

“I see,” her mother said. “And how do you feel about this?”

Those words seemed to unlock all of the feelings Helena had been suppressing since she’d found out. “Why didn’t you tell me? She’s my aunt!” At the last word Helena heard her voice turn into a shrill sort of croak. The tone didn’t fade with the next words. “I see her every Christmas and Thanksgiving, you could have told me at any time!” 

“She didn’t want you to know Lena.” Her mother’s voice was soft, as if soothing a wild animal. Helena had to suppress the urge to look around for anyone watching her breakdown—ignorance was bliss. Her mother continued, oblivious to Helena’s turmoil. “We offered to tell you, but Selina was against it. Our lifestyles aren’t the healthiest, you know that, and Selina’s is especially dangerous by virtue of being in Gotham. It just wasn’t safe.”

“I know,” she murmured. “I get it.”

“Helena, maybe you should take a vacation. Come home and we can talk. I don’t want you dealing with this alone. Lou and I… we had plans for telling you and well…well it’s all gone to shit. Come home and we can talk.”

Helena found herself nodding, before remembering that it was a phone call and her mother couldn’t see her. “Yeah, ok. I’m coming home.”

•••••••

It was an ordeal getting home. The show was still filming for the next two days, so she had to wait and panic alone, but three days after finding out she was home.

The key was still hidden under the door mat and there was the same dent on the mailbox. Each reminder of home relaxed her and she found herself falling into her mom’s arms.

“Hey Lena,” Lou said with a surprised laugh.

“It’s been a long week.” Despite her muffled voice due to the hug, her mom understood her perfectly.

“I know. Hey, Tammy left some cookies here yesterday, and we can’t let your mother finish them off, can we?” Tammy’s cookies were second only to Nine Ball’s and Helena let herself be drawn into the house.

•••••••

They waited until Debbie got home to talk about it, and in the mean time made idle chitchat over their daily lives. The tension, however, did not dissipate until Debbie walked in an hour later. 

“Lena! It’s good to see you!” Debbie exclaimed, punctuated with a kiss to Helena’s forehead. 

Helena grew up in a crime family. It was never a secret to her, and she’d participated in her first heist at thirteen. Crime families are not known for their outwardly shows of affection, but Helena had never doubted her parents’ love. Now more than ever, she reveled in it.

“Let’s not talk adoption right now, Deb,” said Lou. “We can do that pizza place Leny loves and do this tomorrow.”

“No, I want to do this now,” Helena protested. “I’m not upset, I just want to know the facts. I hate being in the dark.”

“Come on, Lou, let’s get this over with.”

Her mom didn’t protest, and so her mother began. “Your Aunt Selina was…let’s see…she would’ve been in her early twenties when she had you. The height of her career and she was a single mother. Selina and Lou had been friends a while at that point, and Lou and I had been together for a little more than a year. She asked if we would take you, and we accepted. Lena, she loves you, but she wasn’t ready to be a mom, and we love you so much.”

“Okay. That’s…okay.” Helena nodded as if to affirm that statement. “I love you too, but I want to talk to her.”

Her moms didn’t seem bothered by that and Helena was grateful for their support.

“She’s in Gotham right now. I’ll call her,” Debbie said. “Now let’s go get pizza.”

•••••••

Selina has been robbing a museum when Helena called, but agreed to the meeting with few qualms. Three days later, she was in New York.

“Look at you Lena! All grown up,” purred Selina. “I saw you in that Netflix special last week. Wish I got to make out with Chris Evans on the regular.”

Helena laughed. “Nobody could resist your charms, Aunt Selina. If you tried hard enough, you’d have him wrapped around your finger.”

“I would, wouldn’t I?” mused Selina. “So why’d you call kitten?”

Helena hesitated before saying, “It’s a long story but, well, I found out who my real parents are. Or who my real mom was. My parents don’t know who my dad is.”

For a split second, before she could blink it away, surprise was evident on Selina’s face. It might have been the first time Helena had managed to surprise her.

“Oh. I see. Your moms told me that they wouldn’t tell you.” Hurt was evident in her tone and Helena was suddenly very grateful that her moms had stayed out of this conversation.

“They didn’t tell me. I got involved in this family history TV show and they found birth records.”

A bitter laugh escaped Selina making Helena wince. She hadn’t known going into this how it would go, but it certainly wasn’t going how she expected. This was her mother. She could see the nose they shared and the same sharp almond-shaped eyes. This woman was her flesh and blood and yet she felt so strange and unfamiliar.

“Well I can’t blame them then. Before I begin…Helena…you understand I love you, right?” Selina seemed almost scared of her reaction, but Helena only nodded and gave a wobbly smile. It must have given her enough confidence to continue, as she did. “You’re so smart and talented…after your first heist…I was almost tempted to take you back. You acted so much like me and I wanted you so desperately. But you deserve Debbie and Lou. You deserve a loving home with two parents, and I couldn’t give you that.”

“I know and I love my moms. So…thank you Selina.” Helena gave her tight hug, and made it the second time she managed to surprise Selina.

“You don’t have to thank me, kit. Now I guess you want to know who your dad is, right?”

“If you’re comfortable sharing that,” Helena said cautiously.

“No, it’s alright. I loved your dad. We were young when we met though, and we each had our own reasons for why it wouldn’t work. When he left for Europe we ended it and three weeks later I found out I was pregnant. 

“Your dad is a very rich and powerful man, kitten. Once you know his name I’m not sure you can leave it alone if you tried. Are you sure you want to know?”

“Yes.” There was absolutely no hesitation in Helena’s voice.

“Alrighty then.” Selina stopped to gather herself and then, as if ripping off a bandaid, said quickly, “Helena your dad is Bruce Wayne.”

“The billionaire? The one who runs Gotham and might have a secret fursona that you refuse to confirm for me?”

“The very same.”

“Wow. That’s…a lot to unpack.”

“I know. But remember you have time for this. He’s gone twenty-five years without knowing you, he can wait.”

“Yeah, he can wait, but I don’t know if so can. I want to meet him, Selina.”


	2. Look What The Cat Dragged In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Helena meets Alfred and Bruce discovers he has a daughter

It was raining when Helena drove into Gotham. From what Selena had told her, that was par the course for Gotham which was described online as “the gloomiest place in the US”. When she’d told this to Selina, she hadn’t seemed surprised.

“That’s Gotham for you,” Selina had said with a shrug. “It’s home though.”

Helena was driving alone. Despite offers from her family, she and Selina has decided that it wasn’t wise to bombard the man. Besides, Selina had openly admitted that it was possible Bruce wasn’t the father. They hadn’t exactly been monogamous.

Later, in private, she’d told Helena that she had her father’s jaw and his hair and even his blunt personality. There was no doubt in Helena’s mind that this was her father.

There’d been some issues with that though. Mainly, the fact that she came from an active and proud crime family. Her mothers were thieves, as were her most of her aunts. None of them regretted the millions they’d earned.

Bruce, however, was the Batman. His adopted children were likely vigilantes as well (Selina refused to confirm or deny, as to do so, she said, would betray Gotham). None of her family would approve of her adopted family.

Helena’s agent, a distasteful man named Robert, also reminded her that the publicity that came with being a Wayne would not be all positive. W.E had made controversial business decisions in the past which could reflect negatively on Helena’s career.

Despite all of this, Helena insisted on reaching out to Bruce, and so here she was, at the manor’s gates.

“Hello, I’m Helena Ocean, here to see Mr Wayne,” she shouted into the intercom at the gate, likely barely heard over the rain.

The reply came two seconds later in a slightly British accent. “Do you have an appointment?”

“No but this is important!”

“Mr Wayne has no need of a…sexual partner this evening. Try contacting him via the usual channels of communication. Good day miss.”

“Sir I’m not here to fulfill any of Mr Wayne’s desires,” Helena said with impatience. “I’m here because my mother told me I am Mr Wayne’s daughter.”

There was no response, and for a second Helena thought maybe she hadn’t been heard, but then the gates swung open. She drove up the long driveway to a frankly intimidating manor. It had gargoyles! 

When she reached the top of the driveway, she parked and went up to the front door. It felt odd to knock, but she did and it was opened seconds later by an elderly man in a three piece suit. 

“Ms Ocean I presume?” He was the source of the British accent apparently.

“Yes, that’s me.”

“Please come in.” 

The man stepped aside to allow her into a grand foyer. Honestly the chandelier alone would fetch millions. It would have been a great place to case and she itched to call her mother, but she restrained herself. She was led out of the foyer into a modest sitting room.

“Please sit Ms Ocean.” She sat immediately. She got the sense that it was not wise to cross this man. “Master Bruce is not here at the moment I’m afraid, but we can get the particulars out of the way without him here I think.”

“Uh, yes,” was her oh so eloquent reply.

“Who told you that you were Master Bruce’s child?” 

“My biological mother, Selina Kyle,” she answered promptly. At her answer the man seemed to take a second to collect himself. Evidently, he knew the name.

“Why are you here now?” 

“I didn’t know my true parentage until last week if you can believe it. I was adopted as a baby.”

“I see. And how did you come by this knowledge?”

“Well my moms who adopted me are close friends with my biological mother. She was always Aunt Selina to me growing up,” Helena explained. “But, well, I’m an actress and… it’s a long story, but I was part of a show that finds out your ancestry? That’s where I found out.”

“Can you provide DNA evidence Ms Ocean?”

“No cause I have no DNA to compare it to. I imagine a billionaire keeps his DNA pretty private,” she said sarcastically.

The man’s mustache twitched. “You would not be wrong. I’ll go fetch some cotton swabs so we can get a sample of your DNA. I will run that through and get back to you once the results are available.”

Helena noticed that he refrained from offering her any contact with Bruce and she couldn’t blame him. She’d take what she could get. And if the results came back positive… well she’d probably meet him then.

“Alright.”

The process was over quickly and she was being sent on her way very soon after that. When she checked the clock in her car after getting back in, she was surprised to discover she’d been in there for less than ten minutes.

•••••••

Due to the fact that Bruce had been working at Wayne Enterprises that day, he was in charge of collecting his sons from school. He returned with Timothy and Damian two hours after Ms Ocean had left. The time in between gave Alfred ample time to run the DNA test. 

It was likely that Ms Ocean expected it to take days, even weeks, before results were available. What she was unaware of, was that the batcave’s computer could process DNA in less than an hour. Forty-four minutes after Ms Ocean’s departure Alfred had the results in front of him. 

DNA doesn’t lie, he reminded himself after seeing it. 

It was with this knowledge that Alfred greeted Bruce when he arrived home with two of his sons. He heard the car doors slam and minutes later two dark haired boys were running into the house. Damian appeared to be cursing in Arabic, but as Alfred didn’t speak the language himself, he didn’t reprimand him. Besides, he needed to talk to Bruce.

“Master Bruce there is something we need to discuss,” Alfred said immediately. Bruce hadn’t even had a chance to take off his coat.

Bruce sighed and rubbed his eyes in obvious exhaustion. “If this is about Damian bruising Tim then I should say that I was trying to drive, and was unable to stop then from fighting.” 

Fatherhood, in Alfred’s opinion, might cause Bruce more stress than being a vigilante.

“No, this is not about- wait, Master Timothy has a bruise?” Alfred said in bafflement.

“Yeah, it’s actually a black eye, I was trying to downplay it. He can barely see.”

“I suppose he’ll have to miss patrol tonight. There are more pressing matters, however. A Ms Helena Ocean visited this afternoon claiming to be your biological daughter.” Many believed that Bruce’s blunt manner was genetic, but it was entirely learned behavior. 

“Excuse me?”

“Congratulations Master Bruce, it’s a girl.”

“What, no gender reveal party?” retorted Bruce dryly. Sarcasm was always the first sign of panic for Bruce.

“Due to the short notice, sir, I was unable to create one,” Alfred replied in equal fashion. “According to her DNA results, her mother is Ms Selina Kyle, sir. Ms Ocean is currently staying at a hotel in the Diamond District, should I contact her?”

“Yes. I think that would be best.”

•••••••

It had seemed pointless to drive back to the city after reaching Gotham, so Selina had arranged a hotel for herself. Four hours after visiting Wayne Manor, the silence of her hotel room was broken by the ringing of her phone. She answered it on the third ring.

“Ms Ocean?”

“Yes?”

“This is Alfred Pennyworth, Mr Wayne’s butler, we met earlier. I’m calling regarding your DNA results.”

She hesitated only a second before replying, “And?” Both parties mutually agreed to ignore the tremble in her voice and she found herself warming to Alfred.

“They were positive ma’am.”

“I see.” It was up to Alfred to make the first move. He had to know she would not invite herself, right?

“Mr Wayne would like to meet you as soon as possible. Would tonight work for you?”

Tonight? So soon. “Yes that would work for me. Should we say nine o’ clock?”

“Yes, I will inform Mr Wayne. Good evening, Ms Ocean.” He didn’t give her a chance to return the pleasantry before hanging up. 

She would meet her dad in four hours. Holy shit.

•••••••

“Master Bruce, Ms Ocean will be arriving in four hours. You will meet in your office, I assume?”

“Yes that sounds best,” agreed Bruce. “Alfred what do we know about her?”

“Well you are aware of her mother. She also explained to me that her adopted parents are friends of Ms Kyle. She is an actress and only became aware of her parentage last week,” Alfred stated promptly. 

“I see. Did you run a background check?”

“I left that up to you, sir.”

Bruce nodded in thanks. “Thank you Alfred, that will be all.”

Even before Alfred left the room, Bruce was pulling up any records available. There were surprisingly few. She was an actress and was unable to avoid the pageantry that came with that. He was therefore able to discover everything from her favorite color to her favorite lipstick to her current relationship status. But there wasn’t even a parking ticket to her name it seemed…suspect.

Before he could register himself doing it, he was calling Selina. 

“Hello Batsy,” came the purr from the other end.

“Selina.”

“Well?” she said impatiently. “You called me dear.”

“You didn’t tell me. Twenty-five years and you didn’t tell me.”

There was no question as to what he was talking about. 

“And what would you have done with her?” demanded Selina. “As I recall you were off doing who knows what to become the Batman. You didn’t give a shit about anyone back then, much less a baby!”

“You didn’t think to tell me, I don’t know, five kids ago?” Sarcasm bled through his voice, but so did a cocktail of anger and panic and the ever present guilt. 

“She had a family, Bruce. She has a family.”

“A family that’s purportedly stolen millions of dollars over the years. A family whose name is known internationally! You thought that was a good environment for her?”

“Perhaps not, but she’s loved Bruce. She’s loved so much. How many of your children can truly say that they feel loved by you? Huh?” 

The accusation stung and Bruce let the question remain unanswered. 

“That’s what I thought.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this kind of filler but i’m planning for them to meet next chapter!


	3. Meow or Never

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Helena meets her father for the first time and the Bat kids find out about their new sister

For the second time that day, Helena drove up to Wayne Manor. For the second time that day she felt foolish knocking on such a large front door. For the second time that day Alfred opened up the door into a grand foyer with the same huge chandelier as before.

But for the first time today she met her father. 

Bruce had been sitting behind his desk when she’d been ushered into what looked to be an office, but he rose when she entered. There was silence as both parties drank in their fill of the other. 

He was shorter than she’d expected— an average height of a little over six foot she guessed— but the sheer amount of muscle he seemed to have made up for it. He was overall a very intimidating man. She couldn’t help noticing that they had the same dark hair, though. 

He was the first to break the silence.

“It’s…nice to meet you,” he said awkwardly.

She couldn’t help but laugh. “It’s good to meet you too. I never thought I’d have a father.”

“Oh? Selina mentioned you’re adopted did your father, er… pass?”

She laughed again. “No, nothing like that. I was adopted by lesbians.”

“Oh that’s- that’s, um, good.”

“You’re not handling this very well, aren’t you?” she asked amusedly.

“Well it’s not everyday that you find out you have a biological daughter that you never knew about.”

“Didn’t you find out, like, two years ago that you had a biological son you had to idea existed?”

“True, but it’s never gets less surprising. Here, sit down.” He gestured to a couch in front of a fireplace and Helena settled onto a red setee. Bruce himself walked around the desk to sit on a winged armchair across from her.

“Alfred should come in with tea soon, but in the mean time, tell me about yourself.”

“Not much to tell really,” Helena said. “I was born here, but when I grew up in New York City. Pretty normal childhood, and I got into acting about five years ago after a friend in college convinced me to do a theater class for some arts credit. The class was horrible, but I discovered I loved to act.” She could practically feel herself slipping into Interview Mode, but she was helpless to stop it. She didn’t know how else to act around a father she didn’t know existed until last week. “I was a Game of Thrones character for about two seasons before I got killed off and then I went to Marvel. I’ve done some other movies too but…yeah,” she finished lamely.

“Your career is impressive,” Bruce admitted, “but tell me about your family.”

“It’s mostly just me and my moms. No siblings unfortunately. I’ve always wanted a little sister but that didn’t really work out cause my moms didn’t have the right equipment for that. We don’t talk to much of my extended family, but my moms have a lot of friends that are like aunts to me so it worked out pretty well.”

“Well you won’t lack for siblings again. I’ve been told I have a habit of collecting children.” The corners of his mouth twitched up at that and she laughed. 

It amazed her that this was her father. It had felt… strange to discover Selina was her mother, but it felt so natural around Bruce. Like a missing puzzle piece that fit perfectly into the empty space. 

“Well that’s me. Tell me about you,” she said greedily.

“Well you know I own a company,” started Bruce, “but I also have four sons and a daughter. My eldest lives in Blüdhaven. His name’s Dick and he’s a BPD police officer. Then there’s Jason, he’s my next eldest and he still lives in Gotham, though he’s currently between jobs. My daughter Cass is the next eldest though I adopted her after Tim. She’s living in Hong Kong right now. Tim’s next, then Damian, and they’re both still in school and live at home.”

“They sound nice.”

“They’ll love you,” he assured. 

“I hope so.”

The conversation stalled a little after that, though Alfred was able to save it briefly with the interruption of tea and a plate of cookies. Their conversation seemed to stop and start randomly after that but it was no less pleasant for it. About two hours after she arrived she made her excuses to leave.

“Thanks for having me Bruce, but I better get going.”

“It was wonderful to meet you Helena. Maybe in a couple of days I can arrange a dinner so you can meet your siblings.”

“I would love that. I plan to be in Gotham for the next week at least,” she said.

“I’ll have Alfred arrange it.”

As if he’d been conjured by the speaking of his name, Alfred appeared ready to lead her to the door. 

“Night Bruce.”

“Goodnight Helena.”

•••••••

The walk to the front door seemed shorter than before, and before she knew it she was at the front door.

“I’ll go fetch your coat, Ms Helena, please wait here,” said Alfred.

She nodded and watched him walk away. Leaving her to stand there awkwardly for a minute wishing she’d thought to charge her phone before she left the hotel so she had something to do besides just stand there in the house of a father she’d just met today.

That awkwardness was quickly forgotten when she heard a sudden noise. She was apparently no longer alone because before her were two boys. A pale teenager (Tim maybe?) with what looked to be a black eye, and a young boy with the Wayne jaw (probably Damian).

“Who are you?” demanded the boy.

“Um…” How to answer this? Would they even believe her if she told the truth?

Luckily she was saved by Alfred. “This is Ms Helena, Master Damian, your father’s biological daughter.”

The teenager’s mutter of “holy shit” was drowned out by the unholy screech that came out of Damian’s mouth.

“Father has another child? Why was I not informed of this?!”

“I don’t think anyone was kid,” said the teenager.

“This is a relatively new development, Master Damian,” Alfred said. “Sir has not informed any of his children yet.”

“Yeah I just found out,” Helena agreed.

The kids gave her weird looks for that. 

“Why didn’t Bruce know?” asked the teenager.

“My mother didn’t tell him. Or me. I was adopted and only found out about the both of them last week.”

No one seems to know how to react to that, and once more Alfred saved the day with his beautiful timing.

“Your father has arranged for the family to meet Ms Helena in two days for dinner,” he said. “Unfortunately Ms Helena has to go now as it’s getting quite late.”

The both of them accepted this and left with a small wave (the teenager) and a glare (Damian). 

“It’s alright, they’ll get used you,” assured Alfred.

God she hoped so. Helena had a family, she would always have her moms and aunts, but she wanted this one desperately. 

•••••••

It was barely five minutes after Helena had left Bruce’s office before his sons barged in. Damian was the loudest, but both were extremely vocal about why the hell they weren’t informed that they had a new sister.

“Quiet!” growled Bruce. 

It was times like this they were reminded that Bruce was not just their father; he was their leader too, and neither boy could ignore a command in that voice. Despite the voice, it did not stop the both of them for making their best ‘explain, please’ faces. So Bruce did. 

“I found out today that I had a daughter. If you want to be exact, I found out nine hours ago. I was planning to tell you once I had actually met her myself.”

“Well, what’s she like?” asked Tim.

“A lot like Selina I think. She’s an actress actually. Starred in some Marvel films and Game of Thrones.” Bruce’s lips twitched in the facsimile of a smile suddenly, as if he just remembered something humorous. “I should tell Arthur. He’s a huge Game of Thrones fan, though I think he stopped watching after the horse guy died.”

“When are we going to meet her?” 

“In two days, but first I have to call the rest of your siblings.”

•••••••

He called Cass first. 

He had a few reasons for this, but it mostly boiled down to the fact that his only daughter was the least likely to freak out over the news. Besides, she should know that she was no longer the only girl in the family (Steph was decidedly not one of his children. He already had enough headaches with Jason). He’d forgotten when he called about the time difference in Hong Kong and felt only slightly guilty when he heard how groggy her voice was when she answered.

“Bruce? Hello?”

“Cass. You have a new sister.” That might’ve been too blunt, but Cass was always one to roll with the punches.

He heard a slight noise of interest. “Young?”

“Older than you. About Dick’s age, actually. She’s my biological daughter,” he added.

“Like Damian.” It might have been a question, but it sounded more like a statement of fact.

“Yes like Damian,” agreed Bruce. “Do you want to come home and meet her? Alfred has arranged for a dinner in two days.”

“Yes, I will come home soon,” she decided. “Bye Bruce.”

“Bye Cass. I’ll send you a plane ticket.”

The easiest of his phone calls done, Bruce went down his mental list of who to call next. He finally decided on Jason.

“Hey Jaylad.”

There was faint roar coming from the phone that indicated he was riding his motorcycle and Bruce was almost tempted to hang up. With all of the danger of their vigilante lives, his children so frequently forgot that they were mortal, and that motorcycle crashes were not uncommon. 

Before he could do so though, Jason answered. “Hey B, who died?” 

“No one, don’t worry. I just got some news and wanted to tell you.”

“Well rip the bandaid off B, you’ve never been one for dancing around the subject,” chided Jason.

“You have a new sister.”

“Wow. Are they adopted? How old?”

“Biological actually. She’s…Selina’s.” Bruce braced himself for Jason’s laughter and was not disappointed. The howling coming from the other side of the phone could have put a hyena to shame.

“That’s amazing. The great Batman fucked a thief and there’s fucking proof!”

Bruce bristled slightly but didn’t rise to the bait. “Alfred has arranged a dinner in two days for everyone to meet her.”

“I wouldn’t miss this for the world,” promised Jason before hanging up.

That left only Dick and he prayed his eldest wouldn’t find out that he was the last to know. There was enough drama to last a lifetime after Jason’s funeral, who knows how he would react with a new sister.

“Hi Chum.”

“Bruce! It’s been forever! You know I’m thinking of coming out soon. Just last week I—“

Bruce interrupted him. “Dick I have a daughter.”

Dick laughed. “Yeah, I know, you’ve had Cass a couple of years now—“

“A new daughter,” corrected Bruce. “She’s my biological daughter with Selina and I would like you to come out and meet her. Alfred has arranged for a dinner in two days, but she’s staying the rest of the week in Gotham if you’d like to arrive earlier.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” There was a click and the call ended. Great now Dick was mad at him. Oh well, he’d survived worse. And there would likely be much worse to come.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a weird what-is scenario, but I hope you guys enjoyed it! It’s been a while since I’ve seen Ocean’s 8 and most of what I know about Batman is from fanfic so there might be some things I got wrong. Please leave comments and kudos!


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